Posts by Sail Away

30

After 52 years a Watchtower slave 9/11 gave me the push I needed to get out.

by new boy in

jw
friends

i turned in my letter of disassociation on september 18, 2001 but it was 9/11 that showed me what the witnesses really feel about human lives and the future wished for.. i was in limbo after my wife of 27 years left me on july 30, 2001. she knew i wasn't buying the jw program anymore.

she told me she come back to me when "i got my head straighten out about god and the church".. so for 40 days i was in limbo.

i stopped going to meetings.

Sail Away

I won't say that 9-11 was my tipping point, but the reaction of local dubs just seemed cruel and inhumane to me. They bordered on giddy with anticipation and excitement. The weight of the event and it's aftermath-- the fear, sadness, loss and grief seemed palpable to me.

I went to a 9-11 Memorial yesterday. It hit me how disrespectful I had been as a JW of these first responders who have sworn to serve and protect, never acknowledging their sacrifice and that of their families. Looking into their eyes, shaking their hands and thanking each of them was a very moving experience. Many were tearing up. The sense of community fostered by ceremonies such as these is a beautiful thing. The cult steals this from its members.

We can only hope that the inhumanity of this organization mascarading as a religion wakes up many more. Thank you for your post, new boy.

9

September Is Childhood Cancer Awareness Month

by azor in

jw
friends

please donate.

whether it's your time, money, or influence.

the donation box at mcdonalds does go to an amazing charity.

Sail Away

Thank you, dear Millie.

9

September Is Childhood Cancer Awareness Month

by azor in

jw
friends

please donate.

whether it's your time, money, or influence.

the donation box at mcdonalds does go to an amazing charity.

Sail Away

Azor, thank you for posting. My DIL died from myofibroblastic sarcoma. She fought three cancers in her short life time and taught me the absolute beauty of living in the moment. RIP Gina xoxo

18

VERTIGO: 'My head is moving through space where, in reality, it is not.'

by compound complex in

jw
friends

greetings, fellow posters:.

wishing you well and offering my sympathy if you've ever experienced vertigo.

my neighbor is a physical therapist and told me about the epley maneuver, which i am now researching.. have you ever been through this hell of total incapacitation?.

Sail Away

CoCo, I'm happy to hear you are improving! I had vertigo back in the day when I was pioneering. My doctor said it was a virus. I was able to drive, but laying down and walking were intolerable. Maybe it's like sailing-- good to go as long as you are looking at the horizon?

44

Why Do People Become Jehovah's Witnesses?

by minimus in

jw
friends

besides being raised in the religion , why do people become jws?

.

Sail Away

Mr. Sail Away and I just visited his only living relative other than his JW parents, his maternal Uncle Ed. Ed was never a JW. He is a retired university professor of Philosophy. Ed and my husband had not seen one another for over 50 years. Ed provided some much needed insight! Apparently, my FIL studied with the Witnesses on the advice of his father who was familiar with them, but was not a Witness himself. He advised his son to become a JW to avoid being drafted into the Korean War. Dad didn't expect it to take. It was just a ploy. He was mistaken. His son became a believer.

My husband and two children were born ins. As a pre-teen I was in desperate need of family and stability. I thought the Witnesses would provide that. Maybe they did for a while, but in the end they tried to destroy my own marriage and family. I reached my tipping point and walked away. My husband and children left before I did, so the next generation is cult free!

13

We all "shun."

by stillin in

an old friend of mine committed suicide this week.

he was a great guy; pleasant to be around, a hard worker, kind.

everybody at work liked him.. then something changed.

Sail Away

Stillin, I'm terribly sorry for the loss of your friend, first to addiction and then to suicide. As you said, sometimes the only thing we can do is distance ourselves from toxic behaviors. I struggle with this in my family of origin. When I left the organization, I tried to re-establish communication and build relationships in my non-JW family. It just wasn't possible. There was a reason I chose a cult over family in my early teens, and nothing has changed. Please don't blame yourself.

6

DNS Issue (Problem Accessing Site)

by Simon in

if anyone had any issues accessing the site over the last 24 hours or so, i finally tracked it down to a dns issue that was affecting users of google dns in certain zones.

the issue was caused by a rouge dnssec entry left by the registrar (godaddy) when they did an update which caused some dns lookups to fail.. hopefully it should be fixed now but may take a while to ripple through to everyone due to caching..

Sail Away

Now able to log in from Connecticut, USA. Thanks, Simon!

9

Just deleted all elders phone numbers

by Chook in

flying blind on the incoming calls but i am not fearfully looking around and will approach any religious zealots like a warrior.

there nothing like the unpredictable, because these men it's all about the prediction..

Sail Away

I deleted all JW contact info and blocked them all from my Facebook account. I just didn't want to see their names anymore. I've never regretted it for a second.

29

Lying In Wait At a Bed & Breakfast

by Cold Steel in

a few years ago while traveling in the northeast, my wife and i stopped in new haven, connecticut, at a b&b we'd reserved for the night.

no sooner had we unpacked and moved into the living room for tea and treats, our hosts began to talk about religion, and we learned they were jehovah's witnesses.

i didn't mind so much, but my wife was outraged that our hosts would use their place of business as a launching point to do missionary work.

Sail Away

Cold Steel, I think I may know this couple-- sent you a PM!

8

Saw a great therapist and was diagnosed with post traumatic stress. Any one else?

by Beachlover in

jw
friends

i took your advise and found someone who could help and was diagnosed with post traumatic stress disorder and anxiety.

has anyone else been this route and have some positive feedback or been thru this?.

Sail Away

Beachlover, a sailor and beach lover here too!

I have been diagnosed with and treated for generalized anxiety disorder, severe recurrent clinical depression and PTSD since the early '90s. The tipping point was a bad car accident in which I was driving and my kids were in the car. I clearly had all of these conditions before the accident, but as a believing JW, they went untreated. I guess I was supposed to wait until the "New System" to recover from child sexual abuse and the fallout from the abuse from a psychotic Mom and an alcoholic father. The nightmares about torture in concentration camps, rape and torture in Malawi and the fiery execution at Armageddon of all of my non-believing family members were just icing on the cake.

I was in and out of therapy and on psych meds for two decades with little to no improvement. I now know that there is no way a therapist can help you without full disclosure. The elders had instructed me to not speak to my therapist about "spiritual matters". I should only speak to them about such things. I would say that I was a JW, but that religion was not up for discussion. I tied their hands behind their backs.

The organization, its policies, procedures, practices and teachings pushed me to the brink in early 2011. I walked away on July 3, 2011. I walked away a believer expecting to be destroyed by God.

A few months later I found jwfacts.com and read Crisis of Conscience and The God Delusion by Richard Dawkins. That is when my healing began. I have been off of all psych meds for over a year now. I still see my Buddhist Psychologist weekly. His approach is different than many traditional therapists, but it resonates with me.

This is what helped:

Dialectical Behavioral Therapy to help me learn communication and life skills I never learned in my 42 years as a JW. Health insurances in the U.S. usually pay for this evidence-based therapy.

Studying, practicing and now teaching evidence-based tai chi and qigong including sitting, standing and lying down meditation.

Mindfulness-based Stress Reduction

I am now training to be a (secular) Mindfulness Meditation teacher based on techniques of Minfulness-based Cognitive Therapy. You can read about the program here:

https://www.amazon.com/gp/aw/d/1609618955/ref=mp_s_a_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1471897618&sr=8-1&pi=SY200_QL40&keywords=mindfulness+finding+peace+in+a+frantic+world&dpPl=1&dpID=41V9Ds-LbpL&ref=plSrch

Free online meditations for the program are here:

http://franticworld.com/free-meditations-from-mindfulness/

I meet weekly with my Insight Meditation Society meditation group. The teacher has a Zen Buddhism background which I find interesting and helpful. It's a great place to meet people who offer kind support.

I'm sorry it took me so long to get back to you. I wanted to take the time to give a well thought-out answer. For me working with the mind-body connection was key. Even when triggered, I haven't dissociated in years.

Wishing you peace and wellness,

Diane